Traveling Couples: Are We Insane? The Survival Guide

8 years ago today John and I met. Well, technically we were in the same class the entire semester already but I hadn’t noticed. Luckily he had! This could of been a classically romantic tale but the truth is he noticed me, not for my drop-dead gorgeousness (HE better say so!) but because I have a nemesis called gravity. For the entire month, twice a week, I would come to our water-color class, fill my water jug and, like everyone else, placed it on my table so I could paint….well unlike everyone else I would then promptly spill the entire jug of water all over myself, my desk, and the floor! Come on! It’s an art desk, it’s tilted, why was gravity only working on me?? My car was in the shop that day and I was roaming around the room after class trying to bum a free ride home when John picked his opportunity and offered me a ride.  As it turned out not only did I get a ride home but a date for that weekend as well.

When John and I met, I had just moved to his home town in south Alabama from the Caribbean and Argentina. He had never left the country nor flown in an airplane. But we got along like two peas in a pod and soon we were hanging out all the time. About six months after we started dating, my family moved to New Zealand. Yes, I know, but please hold the questions till later. We were only in New Zealand for three months before heading back to Japan where we were going to revisit our “hometown” of Nagayo. My sister and I had spent our childhood growing up in that small town outside of Nagasaki.

As My Mother Frantically Yells “Which One Is Mine?!”

We were the only foreign family in the neighborhood, my dad worked in a Japanese company, and my sister and I went to the local kindergarten and elementary schools (except for the two years where Mom home schooled us in English as we were in danger of forgetting). While there, John decided to make his first overseas trip and visit me. He got his first passport, bought his first plane ticket, flew across his first ocean, and navigated through three Japanese airports on his own.  Not only did this experience open up John to a whole new view on the world but it also allowed me to experience something I had almost forgotten, the absolute thrill of experiencing a new place for the first time!

A Ninja, what more can be said?

Just another normal day in Japan…

Keep going, the top ten tips for staying a happy team/couple coming right up!

After Japan my family moved to Cebu, Philippines for about a year where John came for a visit as well. Hop & Jaunt never would have existed had not the most convenient of coincidences happened! It just so happened that when my family moved back to the States, the town we moved to was only an hour and a half drive from John’s college town. So as history shows we picked up where we left off, not without a few awkward re-introductory conversations. Ever since then, while at university and while toiling away at our first real jobs, we talked about how great it could be if we could go traveling together. And as you can see from this blog, we finally did embark on not only a trip but a whole new lifestyle!

Since last April we traveled together for 8 months, that’s roughly 240 days, or some 5,760 hours within reach, sight and smell of each other! How did we do it? And more importantly would you want to do it? Would we do it again? Yes we would, and here are ten tips for a happy trip before, during, and after with that special someone:

Tips For Traveling Couples (or for people that spend an exorbitant amount of time together)

#10: Make Sure You Actually Like Each Other

Cannot over stress this point, there is nothing more fulfilling than sharing the best time of your life with your significant other while traveling. But there is hardly anything worse than finding out you can’t stand each other three weeks into a sixteen month round the world trip with ticket already purchased. That may be an extreme case, but trust me; you’ll be spending most of your waking (and sleeping) moments within inches of each other. That “cute” habit he/she has better be cute, because your partner’s little tics are going be magnified over and over again. But the same applies about that weird thing you do. So have some patience with each other, and make sure you like to spend time with your partner before heading out into the sunset.

#9: Agree On Your Traveling-Lifestyle Before You Go

Make sure you both have a good understanding of how you’re going to travel. The budget would be a huge factor in this issue but so is each partner’s personality. Are you a couch-surfing, backpack toting, not a hot shower in sight type of traveler? How about your partner? Or are you more into seeing the sites with swank and style with a cocktail at the rooftop club for a night cap?  Is your partner not happy unless their “doing” something every waking moment? Or is chilling at the cafe by the plaza all day suit them fine? Being frank about your expectations for your travel life-style is a biggie. I’ve seen some unhappy spouses either being dragged around or trying to drag around their partners.

Living The Good Life…We Named The Mouse Jenkins

#8: There’s Two Of You: But Not Everything Has To Be Doubled!

One of the not so pleasant aspects of traveling together is that you’re paying for everything twice. Specially if you’re already at the stage where it’s all just one account anyway. Things can add up quickly. So when you get a chance to get two for the price of one, you’ve gotta jump at it. Yes, we can share that American sized dinner! And this fugal planning applies not only to deals on the street but for how you pack as well. While you need to both pack your essentials, you also have more space if you share. You only need one medical kit, one clothesline, one camera, one laptop, and one set of shampoo-conditioner. While if you were alone you would also need the same things with two people you get extra space for some more goodies. But do bring your own toothbrush…

#7: Don’t Forget The Couple Shot!

When traveling with a partner it’s easy to get your picture next to that amazing site. It’ll be my profile pic! However, don’t overlook the obvious; get someone to take your picture together! I know that sounds dumb, but trust us, when we got back from our trip with several thousand photos and we were to be interviewed they requested a photo of the two of us on a boat. Well we did spend 7months of the trip on a boat, and we have several hundred of either one of us on a boat…but did we have a couple shot? No.

One of the few Couples Shots we took together

#6: Make Some Friends!

Meeting new people is one of the best things about going to new places, however many couples have a hard time “meeting” people when they are together. Make an additional effort to open up and talk to new people, and keep your jealous tendencies at bay. The good thing about part of a “couple”  is that it already takes off the whole social pressure between gals and guys. You can start making friends without thinking too deeply about every comment they make. Other couple friends can actually come in handy in places where it may not be wise to roam alone, you just pair off and let the girls go do their thing and the guys their own. We knew of two couples that both traveled with kids and they had it worked out perfectly where they could swap off kids and spouses depending on who needed to get away. Some nights the ladies watched the kids and hung out, other nights the girls would hit the town while the guys watched the kids. Or when a couple needed a night out on their own, voila instant baby-sitters! All I am saying is don’t let the fact that you’re both together keep you two from making new friends. We’ve made some of the best friends in our life while traveling.

#5: Space, Give Me SPACE!!!

There are times in a person’s life when you just need to be alone. These times could be for emotional and mental reasons, or it could be for very practical ones like going to the bathroom. Either way when traveling together, especially in a new area it’s natural that you spend the time together. After all, that’s why you bothered coming together, right? Try adding quality alone time in to your routine. John is a morning person, and to put it extremely light I AM NOT. So many mornings John would have his alone time just because I was “out” sleeping. Or on the nights when the insomniac in me re-surfaces I get hours of alone time when he’s out. The only down side is that John has no problem with waking me up after he is done with his quality time!

When We Had The Balcony This Would Be The “Quiet” Spot

We’d Take Turns!

#4: Learn New Things Together!

The whole fun of traveling with a partner is to share the experiences together. While at home most couples have their own hobbies and things “they do”, while out of your normal habitat learn something new together. Whether it be a new language so you can both navigate the country better or a new sport that you’d never think about trying back home. Not only will you have a shared experience but something you can keep sharing together long after the trip may be done. John and I took windsurfing lessons together and had so much fun laughing at each other just trying to stand up. Eventually we got to where we were trying to race around each other, and that’s more fun when you’ve got friendly competition!

#3: Plan Together Then Delegate!

The planning stage is exciting. You’re researching all the different things you would like to see and do. You’re making plans and saving, you have a million things to take care of before the day. This is where having a partner can be so great. You’ve both got different skills and temperaments, think like a pro-team and start lining up your strongest players for the different tasks (don’t ask me which sport I am referring to here, people it’s a metaphorical metaphor! Just go with it.) I’m more of a “big, over-the-top, the sky is not even close to the limit” type of dreamer and planner, while John actually lives in the real world so he’s just naturally better at planning the more mundane, ahem, detailed tasks.

#2: Don’t Forget To Date!

Sure you’re together 24/7 and you feel like you can hear his/her thoughts in your head, but step back and take the time to be a ‘normal’ couple. Make sure you budget to be able to splurge on date nights once in a while. There’s nothing more refreshing than getting a bit spruced up and dining out at a nice restaurant, or to watch a new movie with air-conditioning, or to just get a room at a swanky hotel that has running hot water to re-kindle the spirit and your relationship.

A Horse Drawn Carriage Ride Is A Good Date Night Option!

Or a Lobster Dinner Right On The Fisherman’s Porch!

#1: Laugh, A Lot, Even At The Worst Of Times!

Traveling, exploring, and experiencing new sights and sounds is supposed to be fun, or why do it? Don’t forget your sense of humor at home. Traveling is not always exciting, it can be downright horrible at times. Things go wrong, it’s difficult at times, and it can become very stressful as well. When your alone you have to deal with these emotions too, but if you’ve got a partner you can share the burden, so do it! Realize that it’ll get better and find something to laugh about, it’ll make the otherwise tedious moments fly by!

John Riding Around On His Red Macho Scooter Still Makes Me Laugh!

I hope that these traveling couples tips will help you and your partner not only weather the hard times but to enjoy the best of times together happily ever after! Happy Belated Valentines!