Griff Saves Christmas!

After our narrow escape from the Colombian Police (see previous blog posting) we boarded our return flight to the United States with much relief.  Colombian prison is no place I would want to spend Christmas.  We never really found out why our bag was the only one set aside to be searched.  The policia never explained, and Alyson and I didn’t want to prolong our detention by asking questions.  We only knew we were free to go, so we got the hell out.

It was hard to relax on the five hour flight back to Houston.  We would have to go through a baggage inspection again once we landed.  My mind kept wandering what reason could the Colombian Police have had for searching our bag?  Had the used suitcase we purchased in a back alley been used to smuggle something before?  Maybe a dog or machine had detected something which warranted a formal search.  I was dreading that the US customs officers would have the same suspicions and we would have to go through the process again.  And customs & immigration officers don’t mess around in Texas.  Suppressed memories of a strip search in a Florida State penitentiary suddenly came back to mind.

We were also dreading the possibility of endlessly long lines and multiple flight delays.  Thats the sort of thing you expect when flying the day before Christmas Eve, right?  Packed airports, delayed and canceled flights, lost luggage.  I always hear people complain about how terrible flying is in the US, and how it’s exponentially worse during the holidays.  We were expecting the worst possible scenario ever …and maybe an arrest.  We only had an hour to make it through immigration, pick up our checked luggage, go through customs, re-check our bags and find our next departure gate.  ”We’re not gonna make it” we agreed.  We were prepared to make a mad dash off the plane once we landed.  

Finally the plane touched down.  The doors opened.  We grabbed our carry-on bags.  And we ran off the plane…right into an empty airport.  It was amazing!!  There was no one there.  It’s like everyone decided to stay home this year.  I’ve never had such great service.  We made our way through all the checkpoints with no lines and no waiting.  Our bags were practically waiting for us at the carousel and no one even glanced at our luggage.  We made it to the next gate with time to spare.  We got out the laptops and surfed the web while we waited for our flight to Atlanta, which was right on time.  I was impressed.  That being said; however, we are soooo happy  we made it back before the whole Amsterdam terrorist fiasco on Christmas Day.    

Alyson, all our luggage, and I made it to Atlanta’s Delta Hub safe and sound.  Now we just had to cross that Alabama state line before Christmas Eve.  Here is where the hero of our story comes in.  No one in my family knew we were returning for Christmas.  No one ‘cept one man.  Twas my taller, funnier, hell raisin’, cadillac drivin’, tattooin’, trailer park residing, ladies man, cousin Griff.  We had let Griffin in on the secret weeks before in an attempt to secure a ride back from Atlanta.  He’s awesome.

 

 

We loaded our bags in Griff’s white Caddy and headed for the land of cotton.  Here are a few interesting facts about our great state (Feel free to post your own interesting facts about Alabama in the comment area below):  Alabama is a Creek Indian word meaning “Tribal Town”.  The state has one of the largest concentrations of caves in the world.  And no, Alabamans aren’t a bunch of tribes living in caves.  In fact the first rocket to put a man on the moon was built right here in Alabama.  And speaking of rockets, the largest fireworks warehouse in the world is located in Alabama at Shelton Fireworks.  We passed by it on the interstate. 

Our first night back in Alabama we stayed with Griff.  He owns a house trailer at a place called Ridgewood in Auburn.  And guess what?  It’s the largest trailer park in north america (most likely the world)!  The wonders cease to amaze.  We did a lot of catchin’ up over a dinner of fried chicken and sweet tea, but mostly we were kept entertained throughout the night by a little Heaven Hill Party Liquor and Griff’s hilarious stories.  I’ve never met anyone with a more genius sense of humor.  Griff’s an amazing graphic artist, too.  Graphic designers always have plenty to talk about with other graphic designers.  Its like meeting an old friend at a 20 year class reunion.  If he looks familiar it may be that you have seen him on the cinematic screen.  I believe his most recent appearance was in Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2.

 

 

We arose early the next afternoon.  The long trip from the day before combined with the freezing cold temperature and  a late night put Alyson and I in hibernation mode.  We never knew an air mattress could be so comfortable.  It was the night before Christmas, and before making the drive to Andalusia (my hometown) we stopped by the iHop for a pancake lunch.  It was a blistering cold day with a damp drizzle  falling from the bove.  The IHOP workers were merrily lurching about donning their festive Santa hats.  It was just like a Christmas card.

 

 We began to discuss ways of making our surprise entrance that evening.  We wanted to wait for the perfect moment when the entire family would be gathered around the Christmas tree.  Many ideas were suggested but in the end we decided to pull the old “giant gift box with people hiding inside trick”.  Griff knew a few places where we could get some big boxes.  He’s a man of many resources.  So we paid our bill and left IHOP to the cheery farewell of, “Finally, they’re gone”.  

 

 

The two hour drive home passed by quickly.  Griff kept us laughing nonstop with his Bing Crosby Christmas Special impressions.  I wish we had it on video.  We only had to make one quick stop in Montgomery to grab some big cardboard boxes.  Unfortunately, though the rain hadn’t subsided and we were running a bit behind schedule.  This was going to make it difficult to pull off our surprise plan.  So we quickly devised an alternative.

When we arrived at the house everyone was already there.  They were waiting for Griffin before opening presents, but weren’t expecting Alyson or myself.  We decided that Griff should walk in doing his Bing Crosby impression.  He would get the whole family to sing a Christmas carol while Alyson and I waited outside the front door.  Once they finished singing, we would knock and Griffin would say in his Bing Crosby voice, “Oh! A knock at the door.  You know I love it when friends and family drop by for the holidays”.  Then he would open the door and we would be standing there like the surprise guests on some old Christmas special.  That was the plan.

So Griffin went in.  Its not really that common for people to just walk around singing Christmas carols, so when Griff came in saying in Bing Crosby voice:  ”Merry Christmas Everyone!  Let’s all sing a Christmas Carol.  Oh you know Dasher and Dancer and all of those reindeer…but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all…Frosty the Snowman…was a happy jolly thing…with a corn cobbed pipe (hey whatcha got in that pipe Frosty?) and two eyes made outta coal.  Yeah!”  The family began to exchange worried looks and whispering, “Oh, God.  Griffin has shown up to Christmas drunk.”

While the entire family stared on at Griff questioning his sobriety, Alyson and I waited by the front door for our big entrance.  With all eyes watching Griff threw open the door and all ear drums were shattered by the excited scream of my mama.  The next few minutes were a whirlwind of hugs & Merry Christmases.  I’ve always wanted to make a surprise homecoming on Christmas Eve, and in reality it’s just as nice as I had imagined.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Eve turned out great.  We had good food, lots of stories to tell, and great family to share it all with.  We will be staying in Andalusia, Alabama for a little while.  We have some major plans to improve the website and add some very cool new features.  So keep checking back.  We’ll fill you on our continuing adventures.

Related posts:

1. Christmas Time in Cartagena One of our favorite Christmas time traditions is to go...
2. Hop & Jaunt’s Top Ten of 2009 Happy New Years from the Crew at Hop & Jaunt...
3. Traveling Couples: Are We Insane? The Survival Guide 8 years ago today John and I met. Well, technically...
4. Designers of Curacao Island Tour of Curacao   Hello, Hop&Jaunt fans! As...
5. These are the people in your neighborhood   The time we spent in Bonaire, gave us the...

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.